confrontation

what until about 8:00 or so tonight was an awesome day ended with one of my most upsetting encounters in Korea.

From a student who gave me a package of Pepero candy (basically Pocky) to the secretary who made me a rosette pin, the day at the school I go to on Fridays was nice. Lunch was edible and identifiable, I wasn't asked to eat anything I didn't want to eat, and although my lessons were somewhat lack-luster, they didn't fall flat.

An incredibly adorable little girl named MiNa has decided that she's my friend, and when I was walking to my apartment after school, she took my hand and danced while she walked me to the door.

I used my motorcycle for transportation to the gym. This is of note because it was the first time I have used it for a purpose, as opposed to just riding around my neighborhood.

I had my best 5K time ever, and with a few tweaks, will have an awesome playlist for the run on Sunday.

I was able to do three sets of chin-up to flexed arm hang. (I have never been able to do 3 after a run) I then did a few sets of modified pull-ups and was feeling strong and pretty good about myself.

And then one of the men who is not a regular at the gym I go to came up to me while I was setting up one of the barbells for my next exercise. In broken English, he told me that I shouldn't be lifting weights, I should be stretching and running, indicating his own belly and trying to touch me. I responded with a sharp "NO" and was angry so said really quickly, "If I lift more than you, you don't get to tell me anything." I'm about 99% sure he didn't understand the actual words (it was fast enough that even the teachers who speak English very well and who are used to my speech patterns wouldn't have caught it), but got the point of "leave me the fuck alone." He backed of, still talking about me in Korean, and I did the exercise, still obviously fuming. Between sets, he starts gesturing to me about a v-shape, and mimed jumping rope, used gestures to indicate that my shoulders were too muscular, and wouldn't stop talking at me. I said NO and STOP loudly enough that it was clear the meaning, tried the "stop staring at me" phrase, the big "no" crossed arm thing, and he replied "ok, ok" but still mumbled in Korean, and for the rest of the time i was there, was talking to other men in the gym about me, as he kept looking at me and gesturing to me as he was saying it.

And no one - not even the guy who works there and thinks it is great that I am strong - said anything, even when it was obvious that I was upset and telling him to stop.

And I know it was because he is weaker than I am and it was how he was trying to reassert himself, and I know that some of the younger men really couldn't say anything to him because of the whole social order thing, but I have never wanted to hit anyone as much as I wanted to lay this dude out. And I still want to cry and scream and break things.

I have had times here when I know people disapprove of me, or stare, or say ugly things. But it has never been so blatant, so in my face and so unavoidable as it was tonight.