Dear school

Dear school,

Hi, how are you? I'm good, but there were a couple of things I thought we should talk about.

First of all, I know that you want me to be more involved with things, especially volleyball. I think it is great that you let me play now that you have a tournament coming up and you need someone tall enough to block. It would be nice if you would set my direction in the actual games instead of ONLY setting to the male players, but I long ago gave up hope for anything remotely non-sexist, and you are just as offensive to the other strong women players. Still, it would be awesome if you didn't waste my time, then tell me how much you want me to stay late to practice with you.

Just so you know, I'd be a lot more likely to WANT to hang out with you if you weren't so totally and completely offensive. For example, while I don't know enough Korean to understand what you were saying about me yesterday, I DO understand MY OWN NAME. For example, when you say, "CHESHEKA, momomomo, heh heh heh" I know that you are talking about me, and the dirty old man chuckle gives me an idea that you wouldn't have said it in front of me if I could have understood. But more than the fact that you were saying inappropriate things, I'm offended by the fact that you weren't smart. Here's a tip - if you don't use my name, I don't know that you are talking about me. I know you feel it is your right to view me as a non-person, but I don't really like that and very soon will loose my ability to not tell you how horribly I think you act.

While we are clearing the air, can we talk about food? I'm really happy that you have stopped trying to force me to eat octopus by almost shoving it in front of my face. It would be great if you didn't hold out the still-wriggling legs out to me when you already know I won't eat it, and really, no matter how many times you tell me how delicious it is, or how good for health it is, I'm still not going to change my mind. Thanks for making the beef soup for lunch at the field trip. I really liked how the meat was cooked, and how I didn't have to see you put the still-alive octopus in the pot. It was interesting how you were able to work octopus and/or seafood into almost every single dish on the table - impressive, really - but thanks for at least not putting it in with the rice.

In all honesty and without a trace of sarcasm, thank you for letting me hang out with your students. Seriously, I have an almost ridiculous amount of fun watching them go goofy for stupid counting games, or listening to them sing silly English songs, or taking silly self-camera pictures with them. Seeing the little tiny kindergarteners in their little matching outfits, the third and fourth graders who want to talk but really only know "hello-my-name-is," the maybe crazy fifth grade boy who wants attention so badly he often just sticks his head in the room and growls. You make me laugh every single day. Thank you.

Sincerely,
J