thinking

I know I sound kind of silly - moving to Korea has been "real" for me since I packed up my car and left New Mexico. But within the past few days, after learning of the exact place and the actual departure date, I've been freaking out a little. The city where I've been placed is not my first choice, and I'm not leaving as early as I would like. I have been pretty mood-swingy and a little panic-attackish for the past couple of days.

This morning, someone in a TFA community asked how many people got their first choice for placement.

I didn't. Actually, New Orleans was fifth or sixth on my list, if I remember correctly, and the idea of special education freaked me out. I also wasn't offered the job I thought I wanted once I got to New Orleans. And while I have been trying to remind myself for the past few days that things really do work out for the best and there is something for me to learn by being placed where I am, it was really good for me to have such a clear example - a smack upside the head, so to speak. I would never have selected New Orleans or my job at Langston Hughes Elementary, but it was perfect for me. I got rifted (not enough kids on my caseload) from Hughes, but it was an incredibly powerful learning experience for the few months I was there, and it made me a MUCH better teacher. New Orleans was where I belonged.

I have been working really hard to be positive about being placed where I am. I NEED that in order to keep from freaking out completely right now. And while it was a simple question in a forum that usually just annoys me, it has really helped me gain a little more perspective.