Body image
As I've mentioned a gazillion times, I'm a huge fan of Stumptuous. In her blog today, she asked:
"What if, and I’m just sayin’, what if we all just loved our bodies fiercely like mother bears loved their cubs? What does body love mean, anyway? Does it mean unconditional anything goes, it’s ok to have this drink because I deserve it, or this smoke because I’m worth it? Or does it mean caring and watering and petting and thoughtfully feeding to make the body hum and purr?
In twenty years I want to look back and feel that I did not waste those possibilities. I don’t want to wait two decades to know that I was fabulous and didn’t realize it. I want to nurture all those possibilities right now, and start by lovin’ my bad self. Who’s with me?"
And it reminded me of so many of the conversations I've had and seen floating around lately.
Personally, I'm not good at this. I'm taking a "fake it 'till you make it approach," some days with varying levels of success, but what I find incredibly interesting from an academic standpoint and infuriating from a personal standpoint is that it has become so endemic that when women DON"T talk about how much they hate their bodies or what they want to improve, other women often find ways to sneak in barbs or subtle attacks, often, I think (hope?) subconsciously. From comments about how other women are dressed to backhanded compliments that end up pointing out flaws, to fake concern about eating disorders or distorted body image (ah, the irony), it is so common and so incredibly frustrating.
I just wish I knew of a better way of handling my feelings of pity and anger without just taking it silently.
3 comments:
our bodies can change rather quickly-- and often do-- I think it's best to make the most of where we are now, rather than putting anything off (including loving ourselves) until we are perfect! I think somewhere marketers found it profitable on selling only the most unrealistic images as acceptable, so now probably 99% of women suffer from poor perception at some time. I think one tyhing injury has taught me is to think in terms of what my body can do, and one thing age has taught me is not to overdo it, to slow down sometimes and let myself recover. . .
peace!
Well at least you aren't taking your feelings out on other people, by, say, finding "ways to sneak in barbs or subtle attacks." Some people are just plain too insecure about themselves so they pick on others.
I think we all feel insecure about our bodies. Especially living in Asia, the land of the tiny pelvis. I don't even try on jeans here or shorts or skirts because I know that the largest size will not fit me, and that makes me feel like a big huge fatty fatty fat fat.
What matters is that I'm healthy, I can run until I feel free, and my jeans from home fit this month, last month, and the month before. I don't look like Gwyneth Paltrow in a swimsuit, but anybody who doesn't want to talk to me because I don't look like Gwyneth Paltrow isn't worth talking to. Pass the M&M's.
I have no idea where I was going with this. I hope it made sense and made you feel a bit better somehow.
After reading this, all I can say is.... God I'm glad I'm a male and don't care about body image! I guess that means all males are good looking hey?
:P
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